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Recent media coverage has made it clear to everybody that cyberspace can be
dangerous. We know that predators lurk there, seeking prey and victimizing
vulnerable individuals. This can be especially true in the online dating
world.
Cybersafety is your responsibility. If you are a parent, it's your
responsibility to protect your children from cyberstalkers. If you're not
a parent, you still have a responsibility to protect yourself. Online
dating is a good way to meet new people, but you have to use common sense to
keep yourself safe-just as you do in traditional dating.
Profiling
The first step in personal cybersafety for online dating is to be cautious
about what you post on your profile. Don't post any information that would
allow someone to locate you without your permission. That includes your
address and phone number. Think twice about even posting your zip code or,
if you live in a small town, the name of your city.
Check your photo before you post it to make sure you aren't standing in front
of the most famous local attraction or wearing a T-shirt from the annual county
fair.
Make sure your online dating profile is worded so that you sound confident and
assertive. Victims attract predators.
If you have children, don't put any information about them on your profile,
and don't have them in your picture. This isn't deceptive; it's
protective. Child predators often target single moms in order to get
access to their children.
Communicating
Keep all online dating communicating digital and anonymous until you are
comfortable with the person. Don't even give your cell phone number until
you have established some kind of common ground with the individual.
Take it slow. You can't see the individual face-to-face, and you don't
really know this person at all. Everything you have seen or read could be
a lie. Don't rush into deepenng an online dating relationship.
One cybersafety trick is to keep all your communications with an
individual. Make a file folder with his or her cyber name on it, and tuck
all emails and messages in the folder. If something doesn't sound right,
or if s/he seems to contradict him or herself, you can check back through
previous communiqués from that person.
Meeting
Don't accept a face-to-face meeting until you have had many digital
conversations and quite a few telephone conversations. When you do have a
face-to-face, follow these cybersafety rules:
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Meet in public in a neutral place away from your neighborhood.
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Meet during the day and/or make sure the place is well-lit and there are plenty
of people around.
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Drive yourself there and home.
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Consider bringing a friend.
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Get his or her full name, address and phone number before you agree to
meet. Check them out to make sure the information is legitimate.
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Tell someone where you are meeting the person and when, and when you expect to
be home. Promise to call them when you get home.
The last cybersafety rule for online dating is the most important. Trust
your gut. If you feel scared, anxious, uncomfortable, uneasy
or in any way threatened, get away from that person as quickly as you
can.
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